Breakup Advice: When Can I Date Again?
The word on the street is that you can’t go forward until there is closure of the old relationship. So is closure a must? I feel the answer is unique to each individual. Some people never really achieve what is viewed as closure and can still go on to have successful relationships.
So what is closure anyway? Is it that ah-ha moment when you all of a sudden wish the best for your ex and have no ill will? And is it absolutely necessary to be able to date again? Lets find out:
A Comparison Between Dating & Relationships
When you are dating there really is no emotional commitment. There might be attraction and nervousness, going on but it’s at a pretty minor scale. Dating is like a practice run so there really isn’t any closure needed.
Now when you compare dating to a relationship it’s like comparing little league baseball to major league baseball. There is a whole lot more to a relationship especially when you have 100% involved your love, your dreams and your future plans.
You invest so much in a relationship, and the closure process comes in the form of getting back the control of your love, your dreams and your future visions. Unless we have back command of these pieces we will find it very difficult to start the process of a happy future with someone new.
I Told You That To Tell You This…
Lets just say you find another, they have the looks that you like, they are funny, they have manners and they smell good. What sucks is if you are not in control of your feelings from your last relationship this new one doesn’t have a chance.
This might not be what you want to hear but you should really hold off pursuing a relationship until you can be OK without having your ex in your life. Until you can move on without them refrain from getting into any relationship.
Does this mean if a relationship is out of the question you shouldn’t date? No, in fact some find dating again can help them get their hearts, their hopes and the plans back and own them once again.
Getting Back Your Emotions
Here’s the deal: when it comes to dating, closure after a breakup isn’t a necessity BUT closure is if you want to build a successful relationship. So if lasting relationship after a breakup is what you want, then it is well worth your time to practice some emotional wellness. Otherwise it is not fair to you or the other person, know matter what they smell like.
It might be one of the scariest things you have ever had to do, but taking control of your emotions is well worth it. You need to take a step back and look at the big picture, your happiness in the future, no matter how hard it is to get there.
There are times when it’s not the right answer to seek closure and move on. If you’re still in love with your ex you don’t have to move on until you’re ready to. You can get your ex back I can show you how. The Make Up Plan
Categorised as: dating